What You Should Know

You know those coffee clutch conversations that you have with your girlfriends; the ones where male bashing is the predominant topic of chatter, followed by how unruly the kids are? Well, I have been part of, and been witness to, many of those over the 40 years of my life, and have suddenly realized how educating and enlightening they can be!
The conversations change with the ages of the participants, but some underlying things stay the same; male bashing and parenting woes. I can speak to both, have lived and learned, won and lost and have encountered some extraordinary people and stories along the way.

I'm going to touch on male bashing with this one because I don't think men are listening (still), and I know how important it is to feel not only heard, but "seen" with the men in our lives. I watched an episode of "Parenthood" last week, a show that depicts family life and struggle so eloquently, i love it, but i digress. The Parents of all these grown children, are going through some bumps in the road, and are now in marriage counseling; one of the things that gets repeated from him to her throughout when they begin to disagree and he isn't listening to her is, "I hear you, I see you." And in that moment the argument de-escalates. She knows he is aware of what's going on and she is satisfied because he actually DID SOMETHING about it and let her know that he respected her.

I hear men, including my father and brothers, talk about women "nagging"...Hell, I can remember that being one of my ex-husbands issues with me, "You nag me!" Yes, men, we tend to, and Im going to tell you why- dealing with a man sometimes is like dealing with a child, we can say something once and it falls on deaf ears, we say it twice and maybe get a glance in our direction so that we know you heard us, but still nothing gets done. Usually by the 3rd time we are frustrated and agitated and know that we really need to get your attention, keep your attention and stay diligent until said issue is completed. (Fixing that leaky faucet per-say) Women don't want to nag, we are forced into it because most men just don't respond to a simple, "Honey can you....." Unless of course they hear the mention of sex, well, then you can bet they will move on it fast! Ack.
And guys, do you know that when you give your lady a kiss,or a hug...that it does NOT necessarily mean that she is going to drop her pants and lay it on ya right then and there? It might just mean that she enjoys the affection with her man, PERIOD. That is something I have heard from more women then I can tell you. A women will begin to shy away from that affection with her man outside of the bedroom if she feels like that's where it has to lead every time! Sometimes, we just want to be held, touched, kissed or hugged without anything else being asked or expected! Imagine that, wow.
Want to damn near guarantee some fun between the sheets with your lady though? CLEAN the house, or take the kids for a day and let her have some time to herself; talk about an aphrodisiac!
I'm just beginning with this whole thing, there are so many things on my mind, life, love, relationships, family, just everything in general. SO, I'll be back, stay tuned :)