A Queen in the Making

Once upon a time there was a princess....

Bla bla bla! Do you remember those fairy tales, the ones that always started out so sweetly and so innocently, the ones that had us little girls believing that if we kissed a toad he would turn into our Prince? Wow, really? Yes, really. We believed it, I did for sure. No one told us then that sometimes a toad is really just a damn toad, and nothing like a prince at all! Maybe because the fairy tale version of life is so much nicer to feed our little girls,and it makes us feel better when we crawl into bed at night after reading our daughters and neices these rose colored stories, because it makes them feel all warm and hopeful inside. (and we wonder how our kids end up so messed up?) Hell, I wish someone would have just said that I may have to kiss some toads to get to a prince, not filled my head with some magical vision of turning a bumpy ugly toad into my handsome knight in shining armor!
I guess this begs the question though...do we always see those ugly bumps, or is our vision obscured right from the start? I think it's a little of both, to be honest; I mean really, how many times have you met someone and somewhere inside you just know that this person isn't right for you, doesn't fit into your plans or have any kind of "I'm your future" written on them? Yes, yes, I know you're smiling now, because you know exactly what Im talking about, dont you? But here is where our GOD complex comes into play, as I like to call it. The ole' "I can change him! I can fix him! He'll be a better person if I just stick with him!" (I'm only using HIM/HE because I am a female, so don't anyone get your panties crinkled) Say it with me, NO! NO! NO!
We don't have that kind of Power! We are merely humans, and chances are, if you're thinking like that in the first place, then you may not be as healthy as you think you are either! Ouch, right? I know. But we are being real here, remember?

So, that princess I mentioned up there? She kissed her toad, had her first orgasm with him, thought for sure it must be LOVE, and married him. Two amazing children, new home, new cars, and 18 years later, those ugly bumps and that swampy attitude could no longer be ignored. Prince Charming was not a prince afterall, and ya know' not even close to charming either. Hmmmm. What do you then, because the stories never told us that there was any other option besides "happily ever after," they never warned us that one day this life you had built would just be gone, and chaos and turmoil would take its place. Those rotten bastards!

But alas, there comes along an old cliche about how everything happens for a reason....now mind you, that doesnt really matter for awhile, doesnt make sense, surely doesnt make it better, and it damn well does not make YOU feel better! But...

Okay, are you ready for this? It really is true. At some point, on some random Monday night, when you're sitting comfortably in your cozy little house, watching your favorite tv show, or reading your book without some asshole hassling you, (you get the point), you realize that you are right where you are supposed to be in that moment.
I am a firm believer that the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to spend some time alone, not a day or two, Im talking really just be with yourself for awhile, months, maybe years if thats what it takes, but be alone! Learn about the mechanics of YOU, figure out what makes you worth being around, understand exactly what you have to offer someone else. Because trust me, if you can't stand being with yourself alone, why the hell should you expect anyone else to want to be? Make sense? Yea, I thought so. Then, while your brushing up on the book of YOU, take some time to figure out what you need and want out of life, not just a relationship with someone else, but what you really want and need and what you have to do, to accomplish those things.

It has taken me some time, and some hard knocks, but I can safely tell you that I know myself. Sometimes, I don't always like what I know, and I continue to work on those things about myself that I feel need some extra TLC, but deep down, I know who I am and what I want and where I want to go with my life....
We all have to go through our toads and wallow in some swampy waters along the way; we get hurt, we cry, we love, we lose, we wilt and we blossom. It's called LIFE; but the amazing thing is one day, you go to your closet and find a box on the shelf that you have never seen before, and you reach for it and take off the lid-
inside lays your crown, not the meek, fragile crown of a princess, but the brilliant, strong crown of a Queen; and it has your name on it. Wear it proudly, you've earned it!